Mock tattoos 1: sleeves, tights and body tights

I  have to admit, and I mean no disrespect to anyone, but I am not a tattoo fan at all.

I am talking about the bright coloured designer tattoo that is supposed to decorate women’s backsides, guy’s chests etc…since the 1990’s.

Since childhood however I have always had a fascination for the home-made tattoo seen in those days on heavy drinkers, tough guys, hard working men…You know these faded blue drawings of hearts and banners, snakes around knives, those ‘Mum’, those [often former] girlfriend’s names…These actually meant something, and the folks on whom they could be seen seemed to ‘deserve’ what seemed like badges of honour; you wouldn’t have messed with a tattooed bloke.


Beside prisoners and retired gangsters’ arms and chests, you don’t see many of these nowaydays, tattoo parlour aesthaetics having replaced all that.

Regarding the latter, those modern, bright, and sophisticated inks, I actually have no problem with them on bikers and on yakuzas. They’re also OK on ‘tattoo people’, those who really have a passion for the ink and spend their hard earned savings on getting several parts of their bodies covered.

However I am totally allergic to the small Celtic design on the lower back, the Chinese or Arabic writings on the neck, the dolphin to the left of the crotch, the Maori armband and all that kind of stuff. So many of my friends sport though…

Celebrities are heavily guilty of influencing young people into getting branded for life, at an age when you would nearly do anything. Do you really believe they will still enjoy watching these faded drawings in the mirror in 20 years time? To this day I thank my parents for objecting to me getting under the needle when I was 15. Incidentally I myself tattooed an old friend of mine at that time, a ‘work of art that’ she has since gotten covered by something else….

Bur frankly, on the red carpet, these Dior or St Laurent evening dresses on marked skin? Vulgarity of the worse kind in my (not humble) opinion.


Now, in the same way as wearing different clothes for different occasions is exciting, or wearing a new piece for the first time, you can now sport the ‘tattoo look’ for one night out. You can then look tattoo-free the next night, and wear a different design the night after. this thanks to Dsquared2’s range of tight-like underwear decorated with sailors’ ink motives (mermaids, ships, waves, exotic flowers…), both for men and women. Seasoned fashionistas claim that the idea originates in Jean-Paul Gaultier’s early 1990’s collections.

laetitia casta gaultier 1994

The first pieces produced by the Caten twins seem to have been a pair of sleeves in men’s SS13 , then tights and body suits for women aw15-16, and now in the men’s surfer collection. The world now knows, as we all recently saw J-Lo in a full bodysuit performing at the American Music Awards.


PS: Incidentally did you know that Robbie William’s has on his chest a massive “Chacun a son gout” which seems to be a mistaken “A chacun ses gouts“, and Kelly Osbourne a hilarious “Je vous aime la Maman” which literally means “I love ‘thee’ the mother“…Jesus help them!


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